When Life Gives You Lemons....

goclzilla:

stop!!! liking!!! my!!! selfie!!! and!!! reblog!!! it!!! instead!!!

(via houstonhellcat)

WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

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BUT WAIT

THIS:

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IS:

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SOME:

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OF THE BRILLIANT:

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STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

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(via whiskey-princess13)

Jeffrey McDaniel (via hellanne)

(via myrisingvoice)

Some days I miss you so much
I’d jump off the roof of your office building
just to catch a glimpse of you on the way down.

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

(via houstonhellcat)

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